I’m a plus-size woman, actually a double plus-size woman. A little over two years ago, I had had enough of being what I considered to be a triple plus-size woman. So in January, I started eating healthier, and laid off the junk food. It took a few months, but I eventually lost about 50 pounds.
I hadn’t been this weight or size in over 18 years, and I was so proud of myself. It really wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I could wear clothes that had been hanging in my closet for years. Even though I gained a few pounds over the holiday, I was able to get them off afterwards.
After Mama died and I lost my job at the same time last year, I started finding comfort in food…big mistake, but a familiar one. I put on a few pounds over the holidays. The new year came, and I continued eating junk food… candy, cookies, pizza and my own special nachos (my kids call them Mama nachos). I knew I was putting on weight, but just didn’t care. I’d weigh myself every week or so, and knew I had gained a few more pounds each time.
I hadn’t weighed myself for over a few weeks until last night. While I wasn’t shocked with my weight gain, I certainly was not happy to see that I had gained about 20 pounds. I said to myself “That’s it. I gotta get a handle on things again.”
So starting today, I’m back to eating healthy….a salad for lunch instead of pizza or nachos, fresh fruit for a snack instead of cookies.
So far so good. Wish me luck!
Well I made it several hours today without a cigarette with no problems. Then I had problems with the routers when I tried to move one to another room. After a couple of hours of no success, I was so stressed out I went out and bought some more cigs. Within 30 minutes I had figured out what was wrong and had the router up and running again. But once again, I gave in to the habit.
I grew up with two parents that smoked and was very sick with asthma growing up. When I was a teenager, I swore I would never smoke. Well never say never….at 19 I succumbed to my boyfriend and my best friend’s nagging, and other than quitting when I was pregnant with my 1st child, and quitting for about 3 weeks about 10 years ago, I’ve been a smoker ever since.
I know I need to quit, but it’s really, really hard. I’m trying again for the umpteenth time. I can go over 12 hours without a cigarette, but then I give in. It’s like having an angel on one shoulder and a little devil on the other. The angel says “Come on, you can do this” while the devil says “You know you want one.” After awhile, I give in.
It’s going to be too difficult just to cut down and then stop. I find a cigarette burning, and I don’t even remember lighting it. A lot of times I forget it’s even lit.
Cold turkey is the only option for me. I’ve got to change my habits. The worst one is smoking while I’m sitting at the computer. I’ve found that nicotine gums stops the cravings and also gives me something to do with my mouth without having a cigarette in it. I’m just like the people on those commercials, not knowing what to do with myself without a cigarette. I’ve got to retrain myself.
Three more cigarettes left in this pack. After that, I’ll try again. Wish me luck!
This is becoming a very bad habit. I am consistently having trouble going to sleep at night. In fact, the past two nights, I haven’t gone to bed until my husband gets up to go to work around 5:30a.m. And once I do go to sleep, I don’t sleep soundly, waking up every couple of hours. I really need to go on to bed because Daddy’s coming in the morning. Oh well, it’s late….guess I’ll give it a try.
